The courage to kill yourself?

look, here's my take. i have been in yor shoes many a time at all different stages of my life. i totally can elate to what youre saying, because yu feel like there isnt anyhting more for you to accomplish at this time and point in your life. you feel hopeless, it sounds like, as i do many times and days in my life. i am older than you i have a feeling. i am much like you, in the respect that i only worry about the devastation and trauma and sadness i would cause my family and friends. i dont worry about myself or what may happen to me, hoever i do fear i may not end up in Heaven. I believe though, that God may be angry with me, because it is a sin to take your own life, as well as anybody else's life. here's my deal. i have suffered for yrs with depression, anxiety, etc., yet i also have been blessed by God with 3 beautiful, happy, healthy children and i am not exaggerating, the most wonderful husband ever. i just use a male name for my name. i feel as though i am just taking up lots of space and as much as i love my family, i really struggle with my mental issues. i have always taken great care of my kids and am lucky, because i couldnt work, even though i would like to, but my mental conditions, as well as crohns disease makes me unable to work. not only that stuff, but my hubby really just always wanted me to stay home and tkae care of our kids and myself. however, i know deep down, i dont really wanna die, i just get sad. i dont think you really wanna die either, i am not presuming to be able to tell you how you feel or that i know what you want, i just think it sounds like you are struggling, but that you dont want to leave everyone you care about behind. look, life is short. you and i both need to remember that and make it our number one goal to live our lives to the fullest. things arenbt always gonna be peachy keen, but there is a lot of super cool stuff going on and a lot i bet neither one of us has experienced yet! so, let's just live each day like it's our last and let's set out to have a blast! dont give up, and i wont either, too many great poeple are counting on us! good luck! get back to me soon, and lets keep in touch! we can discuss movies, books, food, our families, whatever! besides, think of all the experiences we havent done yet! so what if we never get rich or become president, we got some pretty great people counting on us! plus, weve got to be strong and never give up! keep in touch and may God bless you!